Enough With the Apologies – You’re Killing Your Brand!

by Guest

The following is a guest article by Melissa Cooley, one of the most thoughtful and generous career bloggers you will come across.  Enjoy the article and be sure to check out “The Job Quest” at MelissaCooley.com for wisdom on how to find a job and advance your career.

Everyone makes mistakes. C’mon, admit it – even you’ve had a flub or two, yes? Maybe you’re in the midst of having to do damage control right now.

So what’s a good way to start repairing your reputation? Saying “I’m sorry” for what you did is an excellent first step.

But can you express too much remorse? YES, you can.

Case in point is Tiger Woods. We’ve all heard at least a little bit of the sordid scandal that has tainted his previously positive reputation. We all also know about the press release he did in February issuing a public apology.

Now Nike has come out with this ad showing a somber Tiger staring into the camera while his late father’s words eerily intone disappointment.

Enough already!

It was one thing to hold the press conference to satisfy the rubberneckers and to attempt to preserve the goodwill he had remaining with sponsors and the public. But this ad really caused his regret campaign to jump the shark and could actually bring about further damage to his personal brand.

So, before you launch into a litany of apologies for something you’ve done, consider the negative consequences that may occur as a result:

1. Too much focus is placed on the mistake.

The more you reference the problem, the fresher it will stay in people’s minds and easier it will be to continue to associate the negative issue with you. The goal is to put more distance between you and that fateful day, not keep it close to you.

2. It comes off as desperation.

Seriously, stop pleading for forgiveness!  More than anything, it just looks pathetic.

3. There’s no action.

Tom Peters says that when you make mistakes, you should “make those responses [to the errors] positive, quick, and overwhelming.” Continuing to simply express feelings of guilt does none of that. They’re just words. Keep in mind what John Kador, author of Effective Apology, says: “The meaning of apology is in the action, not the words.”

4. It feels like you want things to go back to the way they were before it all blew up.

As much as you can wish for it, you can’t go back in time. You can be forgiven, but you can’t expect that your gaffe will be completely erased from people’s minds. Deal with the fact that this is the new normal and change your actions to work within that paradigm.

5. “Methinks thou dost protest too much.”

If you keep insisting again and again and again how sorry you are, people are going to start to think that you’re pushing that message a little too hard and stop believing it. Who are you trying to convince, anyway?

Coming back to the current state of affairs – you screwed up. Give a sincere, heartfelt apology, but don’t belabor it! Get on with it, and use your actions to rectify the situation. Wow them and make that mistake a faded memory.

Melissa Cooley is a career consultant with a passion for helping people reach their goals and maximize their potential. As the founder of The Job Quest, she assists individuals who are seeking employment or facing the confusion of navigating a career path.  Melissa provides a fresh perspective and other resources on her blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook.  You can also connect with Melissa on LinkedIn.

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  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    Woman, number 1 is SPOT. ON.

    When I was a kid I used to take piano lessons and I was really serious about it. Yeah, I was one of those kids. Anyway, I remember after every recital where I'd make a mistake I'd tell my parents. They'd say, “Great job honey!” And my response would be “Oh, no, I messed up at suchandsuch part.” Eventually my mom told me to stop mentioning mistakes! She said she never noticed them first of all, and even if she did by the time it was over they were forgotten. All I was doing was re-highlighting a mistake no one cared about.

    Deal with that mistake in your head, then forget about it. If something deserves an apology, apologize. Then move on.

  • http://melissacooley.com/ Melissa

    Thank you for your comment, Marian! As a former piano student myself, I completely know where you are coming from. Mistakes like that were always magnified much more to us because we were so cognizant of what it was supposed to sound like. Most of the time, though, people in the audience had no clue.

    If it's a situation where a person has been wronged, then yes, an apology is in order. But instead of the offender continuing to verbalize regret, sincerity should be demonstrated with actions. Only by showing a change through behavior does the apology become believable, and then the process starts for everyone to get past it.

  • http://twitter.com/abehenna Alastair Behenna

    We've all been here, many of us more than once, and your points are right on the button. I'm still learning

  • http://melissacooley.com/ Melissa

    Thank you for your comment, Alastair. I would agree with you that this is a mistake that we've all committed at one time or another, particularly since the emotions surrounding the making of a mistake cloud our judgment.

    I'd also venture to say that we are all still learning. Despite the amount of knowledge we possess, there's more mistakes to be made. If we're really paying attention, great lessons can come from them.

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