Plain and simple, personal branding is about three things: proving that you rock, becoming rich, and achieving as much fame as possible. How can you prove your worth, gain an army of adoring followers, and profit wildly from your efforts? Here are 7 fool-proof ways to have you crushing all three goals within weeks.
***NOTE*** This article was published on April Fool’s Day, and the info above and suggestions below are utterly bogus. For everything listed, I would actually recommend the complete opposite!
1. Use social media only as a personal advertising platform.
Social media is an amazing tool because it allows you to broadcast your message to the world…for free! Don’t waste time listening to or interacting with your followers, though. If possible, only tweet links to your own blog or product. Set up a constant auto-tweet feature so you never actually need to log in again.
2. Borrow work from others.
The internet is such a great tool for finding content. Here’s a tip – find an awesome article, change the words a bit, and post it like it is new on your blog. Instant success! Just be sure not to reference the initial author, you don’t want him or her stealing the credit.
3. Use Facebook as a selling tool.
Thank goodness for Facebook. What an easy way to sell stuff to your friends and family, right? Here are a few great Facebook tips:
- Friend as many people as possible.
- Or even better, since you are a soon-to-be rockstar, create a fan page for yourself so that all your adoring fans have something to follow!
- Once a week, tag all your friends in videos selling your product, so they will receive a notification and click.
- Invite your fans or friends to events you create (that are actually just pitches for your product or brand).
4. Refer to yourself an expert.
This one is a no-brainer. How will people know that you are an expert, guru, or ninja if you don’t tell them? Backing it up with evidence is not nearly as important as thinking of a cool adjective that shows your expertise. Me? I’m a personal branding wizard! Impressive, right?
5. Treat your current job like it is a temporary stepping stone.
The great thing about personal branding is that it will ultimately lead you to better and better jobs. So, why bother working your tail off at your current job? Instead, glide by doing the minimum, and focus on yourself as much as possible. Remember that every job is good for one thing, and thing only – a resume builder!
6. Never follow anyone else on Twitter.
This tip is pure brilliance. Always make sure that for every 100 people following you, you only follow 1 person back. This method is how all the celebrities do it, and it is the surest way to show your superiority. Remember, you are the one with the killer personal brand – why would you bother following a bunch of inferior brands?
7. Go where the money is.
It is sad to see people building personal brands around careers that will never be financially lucrative. Teachers, coaches, social workers…don’t they realize that personal branding is about following the path that leads to riches? If your current path is a financial dead-end, put a stop to it NOW. Ignore your passion and your heart, and follow your wallet instead.
These 7 tips are essentially a road-map to guaranteed success, starting today, April 1st. There are a lot of fools out there, day in and day out wasting their time building brands with their hearts, and stupidly connecting with others. Don’t be one of them!
Rockstar by Mick_0. Awesome by kayepants.
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